Mostly Buffy

You've Been a Great Crowd

My friend Lucy is selling Arbonne products, and gave me a lovely sample of some handcream. I've been using it religiously over the last few days, and Buffy indulges whenever she has a chance. This morning at coffee Buffy found the tube and asked if she could have some. I put some on her hands and mine as well while I was at it. Then Buffy asked for some more, but I asked her to put it away instead. Apparently this wasn't at all what Buffy wanted, so she took the tube from me, ran around the corner to the cafe's doorway and started pouring out lush moisturiser. A mum I know sitting at a table near the doorway called to me, but I was already on my feet. I managed to rescue Buffy and the bottle from one another and put it away. The mum called over to Lucy and asked, "Is that one of your creams, Lucy?"

Lucy said, "Yes. I mean, no. It's Regan's now."

The mum said, "Well, it was..."

By then I'd put the lotion away and the entire cafe was watching Buffy rub the cream into her ample cheeks. She rubbed it in with her fingertips in circular motions, just like a pro. I said to the mum, "But doesn't her skin look great?"

The mum said, "Yes! You wouldn't know that she's really fifty-four."

At that Buffy stopped what she was doing, glowered, and marched straight over to the mum's table. She said loudly enough for everyone in the cafe to hear (which wasn't difficult since everyone was already listening), "No! I TWO! Remember?"

Everyone (seriously, everyone) laughed and I thought it was probably past time to pack up my little comedienne and go.

Buffyisms

I'm bound to miss out dozens, but I need to get some of these recorded before they disappear.

Blankleet = blanket

Cowboy = Calpol (children's medicine)

Shu-shu ban = Sultana Bran (sadly, has already been replaced by the correct pronunciation)

Fish Shark = Shark Tale

Birthday = tomorrow (what can I say, the girl's an optimist)

Best Friend = Uncle John (apparently he hung the moon and the stars and she'll never forget it)

Plastic = plaster (bandage)

What I Miss on Saturdays

Walking home from ballet (normally Andrew's activity with Buffy):

Katie: Cherry blossoms are my favourite flower.

Buffy: Cherry bottoms are myfavourite flower.

Katie: Cherry blossoms, Buffy

Buffy: Cherry bottoms! Cherry BOTTOMS, Katie! CHERRY BOTTOMS! CHERRY BOTTOMS! CHERRY BOTTTTOOOOOOOMMMMMSSS!

Katie collapses in the street in a fit of giggles.

She Always Was a Bit Wild

Overheard in the loo...

Child: I saw, uh, Buffy

Mum: What's a buffy?

Child: Buffy, Mummy! BUFFY! I know 'er

Mum: Oh yeah?

Child: YES! I know Buffy.

Mum: Who is Buffy?

Child: SHE'S BUFFY!

Mum: Okay, okay.

Child: She's a girl and I know 'er.

Mum: Alright, sweetie.

Child: She's from, uh, Africa!

She Makes Her Own Fun

From the other room I heard Buffy, pretending to ride on the back of a 5" plastic elephant, "Wheee! Hold on tight! I having so much fun!"

Smoochies

Buffy was born affectionate. She has always been a cuddly girl. We even have pictures of her puckering up for kisses just a few days old. I think the best way to describe her is "rewarding". Whatever she takes from us in energy, time or years off our life expectancy, she gives back in spades.

Her latest gift to us is kisses. She demands kisses a few hundred times a day. This would be cute, sweet, adorable or whatever if they were little pecks. They aren't. They're full-on, impassioned closed-eyes, head-embracing smooches. Making out with one's baby starts to get embarrassing. Especially in public.

We blame Disney. At the end of The Little Mermaid, the two leads kiss to seal their love. They close their eyes, move in slowly and kiss for a long time. To Buffy's mind this is the template that must be followed exactly for every kiss for every person. Every time.

Buffy lets you know you're in for a big smooch by first grabbing your face tenderly but firmly in her hands. Then she gazes deep into your eyes and breathlessly says your name, "Eric..." Your name is always Eric. You are then to gaze back into her eyes and say, "Ariel..." unless of course she is Cinderella or Snow White. Now it's time. You both pucker up, close your eyes, tilt your heads and kiss. Her dedication to her character is perfect. She never giggles once, even when you're cracking up and wetting your pants. Sometimes she even turns her head from side to side and makes little moaning noises. This scene is then repeated numerous times throughout the day. Enjoy.

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