Mostly Katie

Proof that there are more questions than answers, by Katie age 7

"Well, firstly you have the list of questions that have answers. Then you think of the list of questions that don't have answers. So obviously, there must be more questions than answers."

She wants pink and sparkles

This year Katie's best friend is at a new school. They have both managed well and are making new friends. Part of their ease is due to their clever mummies' plan to get them together every week. Actually, credit all goes to the other girl's mummy, because it was her idea and she does all the work. I just go along with it.

The idea is to take all three girls (yep, she takes Buffy as well!) ice skating. Buffy doesn't go yet, but does enjoy quality time with one of her favourite people. Katie goes to a separate beginner's lesson while her friend, a very talented skater, has private lessons. Before these lessons Katie had only been ice skating twice and had progressed to the point I didn't panic when she put on her roller blades.

Following the last lesson, Katie came home showing off a sign-off book. It seems she'd completed all of the requirements for her Level 1 certificate. Cool!

Oh wait, she's also completed all of the requirements for Level 2.

And Level 3.

She is one signature away from her Level 4, too!

Whilst we are immensely proud of Katie, we are presented with a bit of a conundrum. See, when she started, she wanted a pretty skating outfit. I put her off, because I wasn't sure she'd stick with ice skating. I thought it might be a good incentive. Maybe in a year or two. Yes, that sounded good. She could have her pretty, impractical skating outfit once she had completed her...

wait for it...

Level 3!

I guess we're going shopping.

Bored Now

There's a great episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer where everything flips to what would have happened had Buffy moved to Cleveland instead of Sunnydale. Naturally, without her super-slaying, the vampires and various baddies flourish. In doing so, they managed to kill/convert Willow and Xander. It's Alyson Hannigan's first bad-girl role, and she plays it with relish. Hanigan plays it so perfectly, I'm shocked she hasn't had more naughty girl roles. No, I don't mean talking about flutes and band camp. I mean bitchy roles. In the episode someone begs for mercy, Willow toys with them then says witheringly, "Bored now."

That line keeps going through my head. Katie's adventure is Big News, and everyone wants to talk about it. They are talking about it all the time. Seriously, Swine Flu has officially hit the school, and still they're all buzzing about les aventurieres. I mean no hypocrisy. If it hadn't been my girl, I'd be talking about it too. That's probably the most galling thing. The judgement I would have issued on the girl's parents, "Obviously it's all because mum isn't around any more", "They always were too strict/lax", whatever. It's all hideous.

It's hideous the girls ran. It's horrible they were gone so long. It's horrendous the school is both exaggerating (wall is only 5ft high, not 7) and underplaying (very minimal punishment) the incident. What's worse is everyone and everything else. I wish it would all just end. I'm so bored now. Thing is, I've been through enough of these in my life to know that at graduation, there will be some snappy reference to the girl who ran. So bored now.

Oh Yes She Did

A letter all parents at our school received this evening:

Dear parents,

As you may have heard, two Year 2 girls decided to have an adventure yesterday and go out of school on their own. At afternoon registration their absence was noted, a search instigated and the police informed. The police found them and returned them safely to school. we take the safety of all the girls very seriously but did not anticipate that two small girls would scale a seven foot fence. All the girls from Year 2 and up have had a talk with their teacher today about the incident. We are all relieved that this incident was resolved happily.

Yours sincerely,

The Head Teacher

Mice Beware!

Sitting at the breakfast table, I saw a flash of something move out of the corner of my eye. Experience has taught me these flashes are usually mouse-related. They're probably all mouse-related, but my eye is not always quick enough. This morning it was. I saw a little mousey behind and tail scampering up the steps to the front door. I followed it to the front door, a little unclear on what exactly I would do with it. My brain caught up with my body and I went back to the kitchen to get... what? A carving knife? A rolling pin? Which cartoon stereotype was going to help me now? I went with rolling pin.

The mouse was still in the hallway, hiding between my shoes. It then ran to the door and tried to get out! Ooh. Now this was a plan I could sign on to. But how to get the door open? As I deliberated the mouse made a mad dash to get past me. I raised my rolling pin and took a mighty swing at it and flicked it several feet back towards the door. Woohoo!

By now I was absolutely buzzing with adrenaline, but I had no idea how I was going to get the door open. I had locked the girls in the kitchen, but I realised they were my only hope. I unlocked the door keeping a beady eye on the space between my shoes that occasionally flickered with mouseyness. I told Katie to come and I needed her to be at her bravest. She was not happy with her job of walking past the mouse to open the door, but we had no time to think. She paused then I told her she had to do it. It was the only way. Surely she didn't want to be on mouse-batting duty at the back? She agreed and bravely stepped towards the door. She unlocked it and walked calmly back to me. I was so proud! I was sure this would work.

We waited for the mouse to go to the door again. Surely he figured it was a trick. I kept talking to it. I think I had a running commentary throughout the incident, but I only became aware of it in the last seconds. We waited and waited for what was probably only five seconds. Then the little mousey sniffed at the door, squeezed through the smallest possible part - giant wide open door or narrow bit where the hinges are? - and ran free!

I am SO PROUD of Katie. She did it! She did it! My just-turned-seven-year-old beat the mouse! She did it! She did it! She did it!

Interviewing Katie

Me: Katie, what do you want to be when you grow up?

Katie: A dolphin diver. A diver.

Me: What do you have to do to be a dolphin diver?

Katie: You have to know all about dolphins.

Me: What do you know about dolphins?

Katie: Well, they're very intelligent. Once they saved a human. They are very fast swimmers.

Me: What else do you have to do to become a dolphin diver?

Katie: You have to know how to swim very fast to catch one!

Syndicate content